My Nana

Mable Hansen, my nana, is the greatest. I remember being little and going on car rides to crazy restaurants and trips to Flordia and her teaching me to swim and watching Anne of Green Gables for hours with me in Gumpy's chair. I can't imagine life without her. She's crazy... I admit that. She was a lil crazy and particular forever... but within the past few years she has developed Dimensia and it has been slowly stealing her memories from her. It has been frustrating and sad all at the same time. Hearing stories of how she just drove around the beltway and missed her exit because she forgot where she was going and a few weeks ago not knowing how to get to the grocery store and driving me in circles for 45 min. I hate how frustrated I got. I love her with everything in me. I spent more time with her as a child than with my parents. I'm listening to Nat King Cole and Frank Sinatra. She would love it. She loves to leave her radio on, so quietly that you can barely hear it, and listen to it all day. Little things that will never be the same.
Today, she had a major stroke on the left side of her brain. We knew it was coming (because her mom died from a stroke in her mid 80's, which is Nana's age) but that doesn't mean I was or am prepared. I've never lost a family member and she is not gone in the fullest sense yet. However, mom got permission for her to talk to me tonight and I couldn't understand a word she was saying. I was on the Cooper River Bridge driving to get Kamisky's with Karen and Rachel and had to pull over and sob outside of the Days Inn hotel. The only thing I managed to understand was something so typical of Nana that I cried even more. She said, "well I'm going to put on my shoes and leave" haha, she never wanted to stay somewhere she was told to stay. Somewhat stubborn she is! I heard mom saying "tell her you love her" and then Nana like forgot she was talking to me and was like "yes, I do" and so I just kept saying "I love you Nana, I love you" Over Thanksgiving I played Frank Sinatra on the Computer and she was singing along to it. I would give anything to have her tell me a story and tuck me in just like so long ago. She was found on the floor of the room I slept in in their house.
Hey prognosis is 50/50. There is still bleeding on her brain and it's very possible that she will have another stroke tonight or tomorrow. But if not, there is still no way she can take care of herself anymore. She was so independent, even to it being a problem. They said she is comfortable right now, but she knows what is happening and is frustrated by it. My prayer is that she is comfortable and hopefully that she can stay with us until I can get there!

THE EVERYDAY SURVIVAL KIT

Toothpick-- to remind you to pick out the good qualities in others. (Matthew 7:1)
Rubber band-- to remind you to be flexible; things might not go the way you want, but it will work out. (Romans 8:28)
Band Aid-- to remind you to heal hurt feelings, yours or someone else's. (Colossians 3:12-14)
Pencil-- to remind you to list your blessings everyday. (Ephesians 1:3)
Eraser-- to remind you that everyone makes mistakes, and it's okay... (Genesis 50:15-21)
Chewing gum-- to remind you to stick with it and you can accomplish anything. (Philippians 4:13)
Mint-- to remind you that you are worth a mint to your Heavenly Father. (John 3:16-17)
Candy kiss-- to remind you that everyone needs a kiss or a hug everyday. (1st John 4:7)
Tea bag-- to remind you to relax daily and go over that list of God's Blessings. (1st Thessalonians 5:18)

I saw this on Rachel's xanga and thought how it really applied to my life lately. A friend who scared with their anger seems to be trying to reach me again. Life definitely hasn't been following my plan... just ask about my cars (yes plural), grandpa, grandma, Rob's family, math classes. But you know what, my plan is not God's. gotta remember that, and boy is it hard at times. However, in the midst of all my trama, God had a different plan. Rather than letting me wallow, He called me to be there for someone else. Which I must say is nice to just sit and listen and feel for someone else. A blessing in times of sorrow.
When I have been straying, Zechariah 1:3 "This is what the LORD ALMIGHTY says: 'Return to me,' declares the LORD ALMIGHTY, 'and I will return to you,' says the LORD ALMIGHTY." Whoa. In the Word, they used repitition to emphasize or bolden certain phrases... and what struck me most was not what was said... but that it is being emphasized that the LORD really means it. Whoa. Such a great thing to learn.

Funeral

I called Rob this morning and found out that the funeral was at St. John's church on John's Island at 2pm. So, I went to suport him. I got there and was thinging "what am I doing here" "just be quiet" "dont let your shoes make noice". I parked really far away because there were SO many people there. Well, everyone was waiting outside and then after 10 min about 75 people went in, but at least 200 people were still outside. Well, Rob must have seen me walk up because he left his group and came over stood next to me and rubbed my back for a min or so. We looked at eachother and nodded, then he left to go back where he had to be. He didn't get to go in either even though Andrew was his cousin but he and a few of his other cousins stood at the steps of the church. He had his jaw clinched the whole time (i could tell) and he glanced over a few times. I am so glad that I went and showed him that I was there for him. When I called him this morning, as if the funeral wasnt enough his dad went into the hospital. So if you all can please remember them in your prayers.
My prayer has been: "Lord you know how it feels to loose a son; the most precious person to you; so give them the comfort that only you can give"

Pray for the Edgerton's

If you would, can you please remember to pray for Rob and his family? There has been a recent death in the family, and I am not sure I have ever heard of a family being as close as this one. It was a teenage boy, Andrew, who was driving up 95 with a friend to watch the 2005 Inaguaration. So, please remember to pray for them.

You Don't Know Me

You give your hand to me and then you say, "Hello."

And I can hardly speak, my heart is beating so.

And anyone can tell you think you know me well.

Well, you don't know me.(no you don't know me)

No you don't know the one who dreams of you at night;

And longs to kiss your lips and longs to hold you tight

Oh I'm just a friend. That's all I've ever been.

Cause you don't know me. (no you don't know me)

For I never knew the art of making love,

Though my heart aches with love for you.

Afraid and shy, I let my chance go by.

A chance that you might love me too. (love me too)

You give your hand to me, and then you say, "Goodbye."

I watched you walk away, beside the lucky guy

Oh, you'll never ever know the one who loved you so.

Well, you don't know me