Thanksgiving.

Flew Home to Maryland today. It was crazy early, but luckily nan got outta bed before the sun to take me to the airport. Slept on the plane, grabbed the flyer and then the metro. On the metro I met a girl who's a senior math major in Vermont and we are both taking abstract algrebra, so we randomly talked about groups and stuff on the metro. hahaha weird. Home is good, a lil cold but good! My dogs are wonderful. Danced w/drew and he put his head on my shoulder and closed his eyes! See, even my puppy knows what to do w/slow songs! haha Had coffee with Kate and then we walked around! Then had charthouse w/mom! Tomorrow afternoon I take the parents to the metro so they can catch the amtrak upto NYC! Good for them! Dad finally taught me how to use the fireplace... he had to teach me because its not real, its gas! But it sure is pretty!!! Also tomorrow I think I'm gonna chill in Kate's hottub... haha only I forgot my bathing suit, which she even reminded me to bring. Oops.

It's really weird. It's like this is home, but each time I come back there are less and less people here that I really want to be around and who I really know. There are old friends from high school, but really, I dont actually hang out with them. Kate, sometimes Katie, Katie Kern, Jen, Brittany and an occasional few others, and of course chase. It's as if life has finally moved on and Charleston is home. It is home, but also it's like home home. All the people my life revolves around, besides family, are there and life isnt the same when they aren't nearby! I love you guys! Ok, well, besides that, I am excited about driving the Z3 all week! haha, and my Josephine too, though she's running poorly and needs to be stretched! Well, hopefully after some extra driving (gotta get her some more gas first) she will get better! She's just running like she hasnt been driven enough and is sad about that. Also, is it weird that I personify my car? Only that car too, bc the 2003 civic is just my car, not my baby! Ok, well, Night world!

Heather Nova Song...

"Like Lovers Do"

There is a paradise that can be found
A better life to bring us round
And all we really need to do
Is see the world like lovers do

I want to take it easy, take it slow
To catch a fire and let it go
I wanna give myself to you
So we can live like lovers do

Like lovers do
I wanna feel that way
Yeah like lovers do
They loose themselves for days
And I need to feel, I need to feel that way

I can hear you thinking what I feel
I know that what we've got is real
And all we need to get us through
Is just to live like lovers do

Just like lovers do
I wanna feel that way
Yeah like lovers do
They loose themselves for days
Yeah I need to feel, I need to feel that way
Like lovers do
Give me the strength
To give myself to you
Like lovers lovers do

Yeah all we really need to do
Is see the world like lovers do
Like lovers do
I wanna feel that way
Yeah like lovers do
They loose themselves for days
Lovers do
I wanna feel that way
Like lovers do
They loose themselves for days
Yeah I need to feel, I need to feel that way

Like lovers do

Is school over yet? I'm tired of it. I'm tired of studying for hours and getting no where! It's horrible!

Here By Me... lyrics from 3 Doors Down

I hope you’re doing fine out without me
‘Cause I’m not doing so good without you
The things I thought you’d never know about me
Were the things I guess you always understood

So how could I have been so blind for all these years?
Guess I only see the truth through all this fear,
And living without you…

And everything I had in this world
And all that I’ll ever be
It could all fall down around me.
Just as long as I have you,
Right here by me.

I can’t take another day without you
‘Cause baby, I could never make it on my own
I’ve been waiting so long, just to hold you
And be back in your arms where I belong

Sorry I can’t always find the words to say
But everything I’ve ever know gets swept away
Inside of your love…

And everything I had in this world
And all that I’ll ever be
It could all fall down around me.
Just as long as I have you,
Right here by me.

As the days grow long I see
That time is standing still for me
When you’re not here

Sorry I can’t always find the words to say
Everything I’ve ever known gets swept away
Inside of your love

And everything I had in this world
And all that I’ll ever be
It could all fall down around me.
Just as long as I have you,
Right here by me.

And everything I had in this world
And all that I’ll ever be
It could all fall down around me.
Just as long as I have you,
Right here by me.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to my Nana... crap. I cant do this. Today sucks. I dono how it can be made better. I've been trying to be strong for mom, bc it has to suck more for her but its aweful! I miss her and think about her all the time. And no, I dont wana talk about it, and I just wanted to go iceskating and have fun w/no stress. But no, not even that could be possible. So screw it. Maybe I am crazy, You all think it anyway. Some of you write on my facebook wall about how good of friends we are? But isnt that crap? I mean, isnt it fake? You only want to be friends when its convienent. You basically said you're gonna drop me and forget everything once we graduate and you go away. So why even invest my time in that? You were one of my favorites, but I cant handle that. It's not how I operate. Today wasnt even supposed to be about that. It was supposed to be fun, to take my mind from everything that hurts too much to be real today. But whatever, why go have fun when it's just easier not to? So, for now I'm done. Bye

unconfused. finally

katie...

talking to Katie Leek always Helps! she's so excited and decisive and well... awesome. I love having someone who knows you so well and yet always wants to have a good time! Thanks katie. No one has been able to be so helpful about this as you have!

Choices

Had a lot on the brain. Real stuff... not stuff like "what do I want for dinner". How do you decide something important? So here is the list that I have come up with:

Qualities That are Truly Important In a Relationship

1. Believer in the Truth!
2. Someone I can be myself around
3. A Gentleman- someone who opens the car door to let you in, offers his coat and knows how to treat a woman
4. Loves his family
5. Can just go out and have fun
6. Someone that can be real. Tell mew hen I'm being a pain and yet also be secure enough that I can tell him when he's a pain
7. Attraction- the desire to want to be with you & when with you... to be near you
8. Trust
9. Confident, yet not overly prideful
10. Someone who not only wants me, but wants me to search out Christ more & more

Ok, so that is the tenative list. Things that have been heavy on the brain. Consuming my thoughts.

Ponderings

Yes, when I Ponder, its usually not a good thing. But its 1030 on a Sat, and I just got home. Babysat and all my friends are already out. So here I am, talking to Chase and Aaron and drinking a Mikes... Therefore Pondering MUST occur, it is not optional. Judy asked me tonight if I've ever felt that I've been in love. I dono how to answer that. Yes and No. I've been mentally attracted to some and physically attracted to others. I've really wanted to be in the presence of some and honestly, when I really really like someone, I get so confused that everything just gets turned upside down. It's times like these when I wish Nana was alive to just talk and share her stories about dating tons of guys when she was dating my Gumpy and how she was proposed to like 8 times (one was the same time my Gump proposed. Crazy huh? Yeah. She was a playa back in the day! Weird to think of grandparents as playas... but i've come across some pretty darn interesting stuff from when she was my age! hahahaha GO NANA! Ok I give up. I'm done writing for now. going back to the reality that is real now

Untitled

For the longest time, it was my who wanted you. Then I started to move on, and you came back around. I started down that path once more, and yet again, you were the confused one. We danced in circles, around and around and around. Finally, you changed your mind and wanted me too. It was amazing. Together at last. Then it happened. It was like you wanted to be so serious, or you were so there that it scared me. Haha its like I'm the guy, the one who was scared off by it all. I dont have a clue how that happened, or why. But then we started arguing and that sucked. Because all I wanted to do was talk to you, but was scared that somehow it would lead you on more, which frightened me again. I get more mad at you than anyone I know. It's so weird. You make me so mad, then say the sweetest things that just make me smile all day, and want to tell my friends! Yet I want to be around you too! gesh. So that is my confusion! Confused about how that is possible and whether or not I'm ready for you! You and I decided that we compete and maybe we were doing that to make the other want to come back to get together. And the other day you said that when I'm nervous I just talk... for example on the beach... and no one knows that about me! They know I pace and stuff, but not that, so for you to have just picked that up, was crazy! Man, real life is hard huh? Sorry! So, we try to talk and say these things, but I suck at it, it has always gone better to write what I'm thinking down. So, its not confusion about whether or not I like you, but whether I'm ready for that... ready for you I guess. Ok. thats all the insights into my head you get today! Hopefully its enough

Working My Life Away...hey hey hey

Hey,
so today has been crazy. Woke up, went to basketball! Which, ps, is the best class ever. Then, came home, quick shower... then off to meet Jen. We finished our project, delivered it and it was...whoops.. 1.5 min too short. Oh well. Then I went to the library to type up our analysis. After that, July and I went to Stern before going to LaFortunes Differential Wave Analysis lecture, which I actually understood about nonlinear equations and needing two parts for PDE's (partial differential equations) in order to determine wave (up and down) and twist of a rope. Neato! I really am a math nerd! then class, then here in the math lab. Which, thank God... is empty. Then bcm, but I'm not gonna go. So i'm gonna go home and finish up my math 311 Homework. Then we're apparently gonna go out to Kickin Chicken or something. Ok, until next time

Exponging My Thoughts...

So, life here in Charleston has been crazy as of late. I am no less confused by my situation w/boys... Math is going better! Last weekend Leigh-Ann, Lindsay and I went to Walhalla, SC. That was a crazy time too. Friday... it took like 5-6 hours to make the 3 hour drive bc of traffic. Then we hung out w/Michael and oh gesh... at like 1am someone suggested swimming in the lake. Sat my car somehow made it UP and DOWN a mountain! It was amazing and Leigh-ann was like... "this looks like where deliverance was filmed" and lindsay was like "IT IS!!!" Then after that we went for a ride in the boat, in which Abby, the dog, decided to leave us. So we spent an hour or so looking for her. But we found her! Then we want to OCTOBERFEST! Fun times, fun times. Then, like all of lindsays friends came over and there was a par-tay! Sunday we drove back and got back in time for a nap and the amazing Jars of Clay concert!!!

Ok, now that youre caught up... here's what went down this weekend. Friday bcm had an outdoor showing of the Goonies. I totally wasnt paying attention. Jennifer, Leigh-Ann and I talked the whole time and I threw marshmellows (does that really surprise anyone!?!?!) Then after the movie we went to Folly! Yeah for lots of people at folly late at night. I loved it all! Saturday, I got woken up by linds to go to the BCM breakfast thingy, which was good. That night, Jennifer, Aaron and I went to Goose Creek to go on the Haunted Boat ride. The line was crazy, but jennifer and I got to dance! heck yes. Ok, well I dont really feel like writing anymore. So, catch ya later

"When Did You Fall" by Chris Rice

You’re all smiles and silly conversation
As if this sunny day came just for you
You twist your hair, you smile, and you turn your eyes away
C’mon, tell me what’s right with you
Now it dawns on me probably everybody’s talkin’
And there’s something here I’m supposed to realize
‘Cause your secret’s out, and the universe laughs at its joke on me
I just caught it in your eyes, it’s a beautiful surprise

When did you fall in love with me? Was it out of the blue?
‘Cause I swear I never knew it.
When did you let your heart run free? Have you been waiting long?
When did you fall in love with me? When did you fall in love?

Make your way over here, sit down by this fool, and let’s rewind
C’mon, let’s go back and replay all our scenes
You can point out the hints, the clues, the twists and the smiles this time
All the ones that slipped by me
I bet my face is red, and you can hear my heart poundin’
Well I guess it don’t matter now that I realize
‘Cause baby I missed it then, but I can surely see you now
Right here before my eyes You’re my beautiful surprise

Was it at the coffee shop?
Or that morning at the bus stop
When you almost slipped, and I caught your hand?
Or the time we built the snowman?
The day at the beach, sandy and warm?
Or the night with the scary thunderstorm?
I never saw the signs. Now we’ve got to make up for lost time
And I can tell now by the way that you’re looking at me
I’d better finish this song so my lips will be free

Have you been waiting long? When did you fall in love?
I kept you waiting so long, when did you fall?
Have you been waiting long?
When did you fall in love with me? When did you fall in love?

Questionaire

1. What time did you get up this morning? 9:30 am
2. Diamonds or pearls? diamonds
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Elizabethtown w/Chase!!!
4. What's your favorite TV show? Gilmore Girls
5. What did you have for breakfast this morning? nothing
6. What's your favorite cuisine? Southern cooking
7. What foods do you dislike? peas
8. What is your favorite chip flavor? cheddar and sour cream
9. What's your favorite CD at the moment? Arriving by Chris Tomlin, or Time Well Wasted by Brad Paisley
10. What kind of car do you drive? 2003 Honda Civic when in Charleston and 1994 Honda Civic Hatchback when in MD
11. Favorite sandwich? chicken salad
12. What characteristics do you despise? unreal
13. Favorite item of clothing? long sleeved t shirts or simply t-shirts, hoodies, jeans, running shorts...
14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation,where would you go? some beach... some where!
15. What color is your bathroom? Charleston- kinda gray, Maryland -pink (haha go figure)
16. Favorite brand of clothing? JCrew!!!
17. Where would you retire to? the South
18. Favorite time of the day? afternoonish
19. What was your most memorable birthday? 21! haha
20. Where were you born? Bremerton, WA
21. Favorite sport to watch? basketball and football
22. Who do you least expect to respond to this? its not an email, so who knows
23. Person you expect to send it back first? refer to 22.
24. What fabric detergent do you use? Dreft... its for babies, but its soooo good
25. Were you named after anyone? No
26. Do you wish on stars? no
27. When did you last cry? I thought about my Nana the other day
28. Do you like your handwriting? sometimes
29. Would you be friends with you? depends on my mood
30. Are you a daredevil? hahaha yes
31. Do looks matter? yes
32. How do you release anger? go sit at the battery and smoke w/Karen
33. Where is your second home? Charleston
34. What were your favorite toys as a child? remote control cars
35. What class in High School was totally useless? study hall
36. Do you use sarcasm a lot? always
37. Favorite movies? I have too many to even try to list them
38. What are your nicknames? Shock, Pop, Pop-stack, Ace... sweetie (aww karen)
39. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? sometimes
40. Do you think that you are strong? sometimes
41. What's your favorite ice cream flavor? cookies n cream or cookie dough.
42. What are your favorite colors?green
43. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? lack of patience.
44. Who do you miss the most? dogs and Nana of course
45. Do you want everyone you sent this to send itback? refer to 22.
46. What color pants are you wearing? jeans
47. What are you listening to right now? actually, nothing
48. Last thing you ate? oreo brownie sundae!!!!
49. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? one of the BRIGHT ONES!
50. Last person you talked to on the phone? prolly my mom
51. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? everything...
52. Favorite Drink? that electric lemonade was darn tasty
53. Do you wear contacts? no
54. Favorite Day of the Year? Christmas morning
55. Scary Movies or Happy Endings? both
56. Summer or winter? Summer beaches and Winter snows
57. Hugs OR Kisses? BOTH!!!
58. What Is Your Favorite Dessert? eh, lots
59. What Book(s) Are You Reading? The Long Fatal Love Chase by Louisa May Alcott
60. What's On Your Mouse Pad? well its my parents comp, so it has a visa thing bc of my dad's job
61. What Did You Watch Last night on TV? no tv last night, i was out w/chase!
62. Favorite Smells? vanilla
63. Rolling Stones or Beatles? BEATLES!
64. What's the furthest you've been from home? Cali, and Paris
65. What's your favorite thing to do? Chill!

Thats from Rach. I know its long and you prolly didnt read it, but thats cool

Back Where It Started

hey all,

So, its fall break! Last year, we went to Disney, but this year, its back to MD. Friday I went to the Ring Hop w/Aaron which was crazy fun. It was really special to have been a part of that, and as soon as pics are here they will be up for you all to see! We went through the ring, got our pics taken and there were sword-bearers! So cool! Very Military! Then took some carriage rides around campus and then danced for a few hours. Aaron, you and I are amazing dancers, no matter what anyone else says!!!! hahahahahaha Then bright and early sat AM, I came home. Drove Josephine, did errands w/Dad, shopped w/mom, had dinner out w/them and crashed. Today, had church at Mr. Derichinsky's (MR D's) church. He spoke on the Feast of the Tabernacles and how we need to do a better job at showing the Jews how their feasts all point to Jesus! That really hit hard because of how surrounded by people of the Jewish faith at school in Hebrew class. After church, we all chilled, and then went drier shopping, which my parents finally decided to get, you know, after the drier is so loud that it shakes the whole house!!! After months of trying to go to McGarvey's, Chase and I finally had a day picked out. But whoops, there was a boat show downtown, so no way to actually get there! But... we did go to Fridays and that was a blast even though our waitress forgot about us. After dinner and a few drinks, Chase got a huge Margarita that was crazy sour and I had an electric lemonade which was SO TASTY! Then we busted over to the theater to see Elizabethtown. Though, it was not like the previews said, it was good. and hahaha we bought children's tickets! Chase, you are always fun times! Enjoy that cd!
Mike Head let me listen to his iPod and he had the Arriving cd by Chris Tomlin and it is so worshipful. So I bought it, and cant get enough of it. It's full of scripture and just longing for the Lord. Do we long for Him or just cry out when we're in trouble? Father, let that not be the case! Let you be the one who is at the center of all!

BCM RETREAT

hey all,

Just wanted to post about the amazing time we all had this weekend. As a BCM group, we went to Garden City as per usual. I got to drive a ton of cadets but they were really cool. Jordan, Paulatoria, Josh and I all relaxed and hung out on the drive. We all stopped for dinner and randomly Michael R and his pals were there. When we got there we all bunked up, and yeah for having Renzy as my bunk-mate. We had amazing worship music and prayer time because poor ashley had a car accident on the way down. Saturday we all woke up, had breakfast and then had more worship and Peter talked about relationships.
Then we did group activities and more relationship talks. Actually after every discussion, we broke up into small groups and actually, it seemed as if no one stayed in their lil group. Before we left, that whole week I had just been asking the Lord to put someone in my life who was struggling with things that I understood or had been through and to put people there to connect with outside of my group. Well, darn if He doesnt work things out. In that small group there was Dawn, Angela and Jamie. And whoa, someone each wonderful woman was an answer to prayer. Even though the theme was relationships, we did it in such a new and exciting manner.
When it came time to talk about dating relationships we divided into groups of wither all guys or all girls (4 people to a group) and wrote questions that we wanted to ask the other gender but never had the chance to. Then while in our groups we got the questions from the opposite sex and answered them from our genders point of view. Then got back in the big group and gave our answers aloud and they could ask follow up questions and so on. So it was actually really informative and not at all the way I would have expected that talk to go. We went out and built sandcastles. Jordan, you were the most amazing scariel! He let us make him a mer-man! Then we all swam in the ocean with HUGE waves.
Later that night we got more free time and went to get icecream. On the way, I got yelled at for climbing the wood piling and Nan ripped her pants. haha. well, after icecream, Jordan, Nan, Lindsay, Whit, Audrey and I went to the arcade and guess what we found.. thats right... DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION! We played and were actually somewhat good! (yeah for it coming in the mail anyday!) After ddr, we all had girl talk on the rocking chairs and more bonding w/new people! Sunday was breakfast, and then home!
Not only was this an amazing retreat because we actually ALL bonded, but because it was so obvious that God was there and that we were meeting with Him personally, each and everyone of us. And even though the trip was fun and exciting, the point was to meet w/our Savior and grow in Him, which I hope everyone felt that they did!!!!!!

Stays in Mexico by Toby Keith

His name was Steve,Her name was Gina

"You've never been here before have you?"

They met at a bar called Cabo Wabo Cantena,

He was a insurance salesman from South Dakota,

She was a first grade school teacher Pheonix Arizona

"No, My first time here"

They started dancing and it got real hot,

Then it spilled over to the parking lot,

One more tequila then we're falling in love,

One more's never enough

CHORUS

Don't bite off more than you can chew,

There's things down here the devil himself wouldn't do,

Just remember when you let it all go,

What happens in Mexico... Stays in Mexico!!

He woke up in the morning and he made a little tellephone call,

To check on his wife and his kids back at home in Souix Falls,

SHe hopped right in the shower with a heavy heavy mind

"What am I doing?"

He knew it was the first time Geena had ever crossed that line,

They walked down to the beach and started drinking again,

Jumped into the ocean for a dirty swim,

One more margarita then we're falling in love,

One more's never enough

CHORUS

Oh Mexico, Waiting at the bar at the terminal gate,

She says 'Steve I gotta go, I'm going to miss my plane'

He said one more tequila before you climb on up,

She said one more's never enough

CHORUS

Stays in Mexico... Stays in Mexico... Stays in Mexico, Oh Mexico

Good Charlotte

The Truth - Good Charlotte

So here we are we are alone there's weight on your mind
and I wanna know the truth
if this is how you feel say it to me if this was ever real.

I want the truth from you give me the truth even if it hurts me
I want the truth from you give me the truth even if it hurts me
I want the truth.

So this is you your talking to me
and you found a million ways to let me down
so im not hurt when your not around I was blind
but now I see this is how you feel
say it to me if this was ever real.

I want the truth from you give me the truth even if it hurts me
I want the truth from you give me truth even if it hurts me.
I know this will break me I know that this might make me cry
gotta say whats on your mind, on your mind.
I know this will hurt me and break my heart and soul inside
I don’t wanna live this lie.

I want the truth from you give me truth even if it hurts me
I want the truth from you give me the truth even if it hurts
I don’t care no more no just give me the truth give me the truth
cuz I don’t care no more

give me the truth cuz I don’t care no more no!!!
just give me the truth give me the truth give me the truth give me the truth
give me the truth cuz I don’t care no more no.

She's Everything Lyrics

BRAD PAISLEY LYRICS

"She's Everything"

She's a yellow pair of running shoes, A holey pair of jeans
She looks great in cheap sunglasses, She looks great in anything
She's I want a piece of chocolate, Take me to a movie
She's I can't find a thing to wear, Now and then she's moody

She's a Saturn with a sunroof with her brown hair a-blowing
She's a soft place to land and a good feeling knowing
She's a warm conversation that I wouldn't miss for nothing
She's a fighter when she's mad and she's a lover when she's loving

[Chorus]
And she's everything I ever wanted and everything I need
I talk about her, I go on and on and on
'Cause she's everything to me

She's a Saturday out on the town and a church girl on Sunday
She's a cross around her neck and a cuss word 'cause its Monday
She's a bubble bath and candles.. Baby come and kiss me
She's a one glass of wine and she's feeling kinda tipsy

She's the giver I wish I could be and the stealer of the covers
She's a picture in my wallet of my unborn children's mother
She's the hand that I'm holding when I'm on my knees and praying
She's the answer to my prayer and she's the song that I'm playing

[Repeat chorus]

She's the voice I love to hear someday when I'm ninety
She's that wooden rocking chair I want rocking right beside me
Everyday that passes I only love her more
Yeah, she's the one that I'd lay down my own life for

And she's everything I ever wanted and everything I need
She's everything to me Yeah she's everything to me

Everything I ever wanted and everything I need
She's everything to me

So this song is by Brad Paisely and I think it describes how I want to be loved one day. The girl is simple and loved for who she is. She wears her jeans, wants to go to the movies and can fight with you like none-other. But she is also the woman who holds your hand and will be there beside you. Ok, enough of that talk, just thought it was a pretty song that describes how I think love should be. If you get a chance... try to listen to it.

Confusion

So, everything is cool right? Slowly but surely getting on track, to where you want to be. Why do we all analyze everything to death? You get what you want, and then for who knows what reason, it goes awry. Hmm, wonderful times! Oh gesh!