Most Fun Weekend

What's up kids? So, Friday... I got to hang out w/Karen and Abe. He is really sweet, even if he did wear shorts when even I thought it was cold out. But what a fun guy.

Then Saturday... The greatest day ever. Let's see, after like 5 hours of sleep I had to be on campus to work the math meet which was surprisingly fun. Then, I raced to work for a few hours where it was super busy. Then as soon as I got off it was time to go to the COFC vs CITADEL game. We won by a lot... almost double. After that we went to Kickin' Chicken and then to the Citadel oyster roast so Lindsay could hang out w/Jordan. While we were there I found Michael. He was so far gone, but really funny. So I took his keys after the party got busted by some cops and drove his truck back to my place where he crashed.

Once he fell asleep Keturah, Lindsay, Jordan and I went salsa dancing. Oh my gosh, that is so fun. I danced with everyone that night. Must have been my sexy shirt! haha. So, this Mexican man was a great dancer and kept asking me to dance, so I was like "cool" but after a while he asked me a question and I couldn't understand so I was like "do you mean into the middle of the floor?" and he apparently didn't understand me either and said "yeah" so he started heading towards the back and I stopped and said "are we going to the middle?" and he said "yeah" and kept going to the back. Well, I started to realize that he prolly didn't really say he wanted to go the the middle of the dance floor so I said "hey, I have to find me friends and tell them where I'm going" and I ran away haha.

I kept getting asked to dance by this guy, Matt, from the citadel. Only after a few minutes he would pass me off to his friend each time. I was like "what is going on" but the other guy (who's Asianish!?!?... Nan would like that) started following me and talking to me and stuff. He was such a bad dancer (but hey, so am I, so it was funny) but when I was leaving he ran out and said, "thank you for dancing with me, do you think I could call you sometime so we can go out?" and I said "sure." Well, as my luck would have it, he called tonight and so we're getting coffee on Wed. Hopefully it'll be good. Coffee is always good at least. But I just thought that was very random. Augee... Yeah that's his name. Anyways, yeah for spring break starting in 4 days!!!!!!!

TEN random things about me:
10) Though some people hate christian music, it keeps me grounded.
9) I really tried to be ambidextrious when I was young; i didnt work
8) I have a few bathroom issues
7) Sometimes I really miss calvin, or maybe I just would like to rewrite that part of life, though it has influenced me greatly.
6) I really miss my puppies oh and my goldfish moe
5) I have an uncanny ability to remember all of my friends, even if we were friends when we were 5 and havent seen eachother since then
4) I would like to go back to being a kid and enjoy each nap I was forced to take
3) I will never forget my Josephine!!! I miss you my favorite car!
2) Yes, I not only named my car but talked to her!
1) I love being on/in the water

NINE places I've visited:
9) Florida
8) Michigan
7) California
6) New York
5) Paris
4) Bermuda
3) St. Maarten
2) Pennsylania
1) Missouri

EIGHT things I want to do before I die:
8) Find a Godly guy who shares my beliefs and values.
7) Marry him.
6) Have kids.
5) Be middle aged and happy, content with life
4) Have a house where I can see both the woods and water from my bedroom window
3) stay strong in the Lord
2) Understand Math
1) Live on a Boat for a summer

SEVEN ways to win my heart:
7) Love God more than you love me.
6) No games
5) Family has gotta be important
4) Character
3) Understand my sense of humor and have one as well
2) have a pensive side where you can talk for hours and then just be able to do nothing together.
1) Be committed to purity; and respect me.

SIX things I believe in:
6) God
5) Love
4) there is a true right and wrong.
3) Heaven.
2) Hell.
1) Stupid People do exist.

FIVE things I'm afraid of:
5) Being fully known
4) Never finding a man who will love me as i love him
3) Loosing sight of Christ
2) My friends turning away from the Truth
1) toilets.

FOUR of my favorite items in my room:
4) My stereo ]
3) My bed.
2) oh oh my sheets
1) the view from my window

THREE things I do every day:
3) Sleep.
2) Check my e-mail
1) Daydream

TWO things I'm trying not to do right now:
2) study
1) get dressed (haha yes i just got outta the tub)

ONE person I want to see right now:
1) Either my Nana or Nan

The Problem of Evil...

Weird title Huh? Well, its the book I'm reading for Religious studies and it actually had something I love in it:

Holy Sonnet 14
Batter my heart, three-personed God; for you
As yet but knock, breathe, shine, and seek to mend;
That I may rise and stand, o'erthrow me, and bend
Your force to break, blow, burn and make me new.
I, like an usurped town, to another due,
Labor to admit you, but O, to no end;
Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend,
But is captivated, and proves weak or untrue.
Yet dearly I love you, and would be loved fain,
But am betrothed unto your enemy.
Divorce me, untie or break that knot again;
Take me to you, imprison me, for I,
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.

This reminds me of another poem...

Birches
So was I once myself a swinger of birches.
And so I dream of going back to be.
It's when I'm weary of considerations,
And life is too much like a pathless wood
Where your face burns and tickles with the cobwebs
Broken across it, and one eye is weeping
From a twig's having lashed across it open.
I'd like to get away from earth awhile
And then come back to it and begin over...
One could do worse than be a swinger of birches. ~Frost

Out of Control

Do you ever feel like life has spun away from you? Like the world is going round and round but you are just sitting there watching it? Maybe there has been too much going on, I dono. But there is this apathy towards everying and everyone. Maybe it's pms and I'm sure thats a part of it but not all. Feeling homesick yet finding that strange. Part of it has to be because of my grandparents. Even though things are settling a little, it's so hard to be here and really long to be there with them and for them. Can't focus on homework, class or anything else. Just want to sleep and sleep a lot (maybe forever... maybe not). Hate that I feel this way. Sure, it's depression creaping in and I realize this. However, I am working on it and getting help. Why are some people more prone towards this than others? I really just want to sit and talk with Karen for hours and I wish Nan was here. I'm so incredibly happy for her. Maybe it's selfish, but it's hard to talk to her. To realize how far away she is, To know that in reality I'm not in her life and she's not in mine. I guess it kinda just sucks to have worked so hard at that friendship, to have made it as deep as it is. It's like I'm stuck in this weird place right now. Ok, well since no one reads this I dont feel bad about writing this, its theraputic. Haha. Ok, well off to homework

Long Time Since...

Hey Friends,
So haven't updated this with all the new exciting info that you all really wana know. So, last Wednesday (Feb 2) was my 21nd birthday. Haha. Well, in the afternoon I went to the Liquor store w/Susan and bought Vodka, Kuala and Coconut Rum. Cassi supplied the Coke and OJ! (thanks girl). Then Rach, Keturah, Karen, Susan, Cassi, Leigh-Ann and I went to California Dreaming. Whoa, those Strawberry Daquiris are yummy. So after that we came back to my place where we were joined by Kristi Ford! Had a few drinks... ok a lotta drinks but it was good. Wana see some funny pics? Just ask bc I have quite a few. Apparently Drunk Christy is funny.

I went home on Friday for my nana. Spent 9 hours in the car and she knew who I was. So that was good. However on Saturday she was worse and pretty non-responsive. They said it was because in order to calm her they gave her Tranqualizers and was apparently too strong. So I went back up on Sunday and she was better. She ate pudding and apple sauce and drank some milk and coffee. It was great. I came back on Monday and was told she was even better. Today they moved her to a nursing home/rehabilitation place and mom said nana cried about being there. So sad. I cannot even imagine not being able to get the words that I want out. Please keep praying for them (mom and nana). thanks

My Nana

Mable Hansen, my nana, is the greatest. I remember being little and going on car rides to crazy restaurants and trips to Flordia and her teaching me to swim and watching Anne of Green Gables for hours with me in Gumpy's chair. I can't imagine life without her. She's crazy... I admit that. She was a lil crazy and particular forever... but within the past few years she has developed Dimensia and it has been slowly stealing her memories from her. It has been frustrating and sad all at the same time. Hearing stories of how she just drove around the beltway and missed her exit because she forgot where she was going and a few weeks ago not knowing how to get to the grocery store and driving me in circles for 45 min. I hate how frustrated I got. I love her with everything in me. I spent more time with her as a child than with my parents. I'm listening to Nat King Cole and Frank Sinatra. She would love it. She loves to leave her radio on, so quietly that you can barely hear it, and listen to it all day. Little things that will never be the same.
Today, she had a major stroke on the left side of her brain. We knew it was coming (because her mom died from a stroke in her mid 80's, which is Nana's age) but that doesn't mean I was or am prepared. I've never lost a family member and she is not gone in the fullest sense yet. However, mom got permission for her to talk to me tonight and I couldn't understand a word she was saying. I was on the Cooper River Bridge driving to get Kamisky's with Karen and Rachel and had to pull over and sob outside of the Days Inn hotel. The only thing I managed to understand was something so typical of Nana that I cried even more. She said, "well I'm going to put on my shoes and leave" haha, she never wanted to stay somewhere she was told to stay. Somewhat stubborn she is! I heard mom saying "tell her you love her" and then Nana like forgot she was talking to me and was like "yes, I do" and so I just kept saying "I love you Nana, I love you" Over Thanksgiving I played Frank Sinatra on the Computer and she was singing along to it. I would give anything to have her tell me a story and tuck me in just like so long ago. She was found on the floor of the room I slept in in their house.
Hey prognosis is 50/50. There is still bleeding on her brain and it's very possible that she will have another stroke tonight or tomorrow. But if not, there is still no way she can take care of herself anymore. She was so independent, even to it being a problem. They said she is comfortable right now, but she knows what is happening and is frustrated by it. My prayer is that she is comfortable and hopefully that she can stay with us until I can get there!

THE EVERYDAY SURVIVAL KIT

Toothpick-- to remind you to pick out the good qualities in others. (Matthew 7:1)
Rubber band-- to remind you to be flexible; things might not go the way you want, but it will work out. (Romans 8:28)
Band Aid-- to remind you to heal hurt feelings, yours or someone else's. (Colossians 3:12-14)
Pencil-- to remind you to list your blessings everyday. (Ephesians 1:3)
Eraser-- to remind you that everyone makes mistakes, and it's okay... (Genesis 50:15-21)
Chewing gum-- to remind you to stick with it and you can accomplish anything. (Philippians 4:13)
Mint-- to remind you that you are worth a mint to your Heavenly Father. (John 3:16-17)
Candy kiss-- to remind you that everyone needs a kiss or a hug everyday. (1st John 4:7)
Tea bag-- to remind you to relax daily and go over that list of God's Blessings. (1st Thessalonians 5:18)

I saw this on Rachel's xanga and thought how it really applied to my life lately. A friend who scared with their anger seems to be trying to reach me again. Life definitely hasn't been following my plan... just ask about my cars (yes plural), grandpa, grandma, Rob's family, math classes. But you know what, my plan is not God's. gotta remember that, and boy is it hard at times. However, in the midst of all my trama, God had a different plan. Rather than letting me wallow, He called me to be there for someone else. Which I must say is nice to just sit and listen and feel for someone else. A blessing in times of sorrow.
When I have been straying, Zechariah 1:3 "This is what the LORD ALMIGHTY says: 'Return to me,' declares the LORD ALMIGHTY, 'and I will return to you,' says the LORD ALMIGHTY." Whoa. In the Word, they used repitition to emphasize or bolden certain phrases... and what struck me most was not what was said... but that it is being emphasized that the LORD really means it. Whoa. Such a great thing to learn.

Funeral

I called Rob this morning and found out that the funeral was at St. John's church on John's Island at 2pm. So, I went to suport him. I got there and was thinging "what am I doing here" "just be quiet" "dont let your shoes make noice". I parked really far away because there were SO many people there. Well, everyone was waiting outside and then after 10 min about 75 people went in, but at least 200 people were still outside. Well, Rob must have seen me walk up because he left his group and came over stood next to me and rubbed my back for a min or so. We looked at eachother and nodded, then he left to go back where he had to be. He didn't get to go in either even though Andrew was his cousin but he and a few of his other cousins stood at the steps of the church. He had his jaw clinched the whole time (i could tell) and he glanced over a few times. I am so glad that I went and showed him that I was there for him. When I called him this morning, as if the funeral wasnt enough his dad went into the hospital. So if you all can please remember them in your prayers.
My prayer has been: "Lord you know how it feels to loose a son; the most precious person to you; so give them the comfort that only you can give"

Pray for the Edgerton's

If you would, can you please remember to pray for Rob and his family? There has been a recent death in the family, and I am not sure I have ever heard of a family being as close as this one. It was a teenage boy, Andrew, who was driving up 95 with a friend to watch the 2005 Inaguaration. So, please remember to pray for them.

You Don't Know Me

You give your hand to me and then you say, "Hello."

And I can hardly speak, my heart is beating so.

And anyone can tell you think you know me well.

Well, you don't know me.(no you don't know me)

No you don't know the one who dreams of you at night;

And longs to kiss your lips and longs to hold you tight

Oh I'm just a friend. That's all I've ever been.

Cause you don't know me. (no you don't know me)

For I never knew the art of making love,

Though my heart aches with love for you.

Afraid and shy, I let my chance go by.

A chance that you might love me too. (love me too)

You give your hand to me, and then you say, "Goodbye."

I watched you walk away, beside the lucky guy

Oh, you'll never ever know the one who loved you so.

Well, you don't know me

Worst Vacation Ever!

Hey,

So I got home around midnight just about a week ago and what an eventful week it has been. Discovered I received my very first D on a report card (evil abstract math!). However the 303 (next class) teacher emailed me a pratice test and will help me along based on that work. Well, I found out about that on Thursday and thought that life was pretty crappy at that moment. Apparently, it can/does get worse. Monday night, I went to meet Katie Kern and Lindsay Wallace at AACS. In the parking lot, I hit black ice, skidded and my car smacked into the curb/fence in the Guam part of the lot. Tried to drive it home, it didn't happen. Got it towed to the Honda Dealer and they said it was $2,100 in damage, so basically it's totaled. Gesh, my lil baby Josephine crumpled. Today I got her towed home and backed her into her final spot. Just glancing at her, it looks like the tire is a little messed up and the quarter panel is cracked, but apparently the entire front end stuff on the left is broken. So I have to figure out a way to sell her. Mom said it was God's protection that I didn't hit another car because I could have been really hurt seeing as how my car just folded up! :( Also, it happened in a time when I'm home, and am getting Kate's car in 2 weeks. (ok mom is playing her singing ornament over and over....) Another protection is that I only hurt the civic and not another car or a person.

On a slightly happier note: my mom always wanted my grandfathers Mercedes. They don't get along but that's what she has always wanted, his car. Well, he offered it to my dad, who turned it down. Suffice to say, mom was mad at him... Well, the man he was going to sell it to fell through (didn't have enough money) so he told me to make him an offer. I said I have $10 in my pocket and he said "deal." So hopefully, I bought my mom that car! Which would be a sweet deal. Car for her, Car for me! Ok, enough rambling about this week.

Home

Just in case you are wondering, I am in Annapolis. Back for christmas break and not really doing anything. I am quite enjoying the fact that I do not have anything to do and therefore I really am doing nothing. What a wonderful vacation. Ok back to doing nothing, maybe I'll actually write something productive tomorrow...

Finally, my Casey girl gets up close and personal with my camera 

Daisy and my Drew man! 

Softball. Spring 2004. Game over. Did we win? prolly not, but who cares 

Me and Nan. This might be from one of our first times hanging out. Who knew what would come from that! 

Nancy Jane... a typical Picture 

Yeah for Minney Mouse's House! 

Fun Hats in Disney during Fall Break! 

Me in mom's tight lil z3! Top down in freezing weather!