bon jovi

I spent twenty years trying to get out of this place
I was looking for something I couldn't replace
I was running away from the only thing I've ever known
Like a blind dog without a bone
I was a gypsy lost in the twilight zone
I hijacked a rainbow and crashed into a pot of gold

I been there, done that
But I ain't looking back on the seeds I've sown
Saving dimes spending too much time on the telephone
Who says you can't go home

Who says you can't go home
There's only one place they call me one of their own
Just a hometown boy born a rolling stone
Who says you can't go home
Who says you can't go back
I been all around the world and as a matter of fact
There's only one place left I want to go
Who says you can't go home
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it's alright

I went as far as I could, I tried to find a new face
There isn't one of these lines that I would erase
I lived a million miles of memories on that road
With every step I take I know that I'm not alone
You take the home from the boy
But not the boy from his home
These are my streets, the only life I've ever known
Who says you can't go home

Who says you can't go home
There's only one place they call me one of their own
Just a hometown boy born a rolling stone
Who says you can't go home
Who says you can't go home
I been all around the world and as a matter of fact
There's only one place left I want to go
Who says you can't go home
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it's alright
Who says you can't go home
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it's alright, it's alright
Who says you can't go home

I been there, done that and I ain't looking back
It's been a long, long road
Feels like I never left, that's how the story goes

It doesn't matter where you are, It doesn't matter where you go
If it's a million miles away or just ten miles up the road
Take it in , Take it with you when you go
Who says you can't go home?

Rascal Flatts - Stand

You feel like a candle in a hurricane Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless Like you've lost your fight
But you’ll be alright But you’ll be alright

Chorus:
Cause when push comes to shove You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up, Decide you’ve had enough
You get mad you get strong, Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand, Then you stand

Life's like a novel with the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon with only one way down
Take what you're given before its gone
Start holding on, keep holding on

Cause when push comes to shove You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up decide you’ve had enough
You get mad you get strong, Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand, Then you stand
Yeah then you stand.

Everytime you get up and get back in the race
One more small piece of you Starts to fall into place
Ooohhh

Cause when push comes to shove, You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break, cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up, Decide you’ve had enough
You get mad you get strong Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand, Then you stand
Yeah then you stand. Yeah

Decisions

Hey,
it's been a really long time since I wrote in here. Almost forgot how theraputic it can be. They say college is the best time of your life, and I'm seriously tempted to believe that. But, what about the sides they dont tell you about? What about the fear and anxiety that plagues second semester seniors about life after graduation? We all pretend that its just fun and that procrastination is a great thing, and it be perfectly honest, thats a HUGE part of life, but its not nearly all of it. Graduation is a mere 32 ... ok make that now 31 days away, and yeah and AHHHH! What the heck am I supposed to do? Grad school is there, and I'm accepted to at least one at the moment. A great shcool; the Citadel. Hopefully the letter from UMBC will be arriving soon as well. But then comes the tough part, the decision. So here are the pro/cons for both

Citadel Pro's:

• staying in charleston... which is a place I love!
  
• if I want to be in SC eventually, this school will get me a great job here
• inexpensive instate if I can get it... like 200 a credit hour for graduate students
• beach
  

Citadel Con's:

• applied simply to not have to move
• not really a school I want to go to
• 2 years of classes, then a semster of student teaching... aka 2.5 year program
• possible out-of-state tuition
  

UMBC Pro's:

• more well-known school (but does that matter for a MAT degree?!?!)
  
• 2 year program
• instate tuition
  
• snow
  

UMBC Con's:

• leaving Charleston
• leaving the life I built here
• being close to home

Other things to consider, I dont really know what or where I really want to be eventually. I love both places... What do you do when you've been praying for direction from the Lord, but you dont see it? Do you just keep praying or is it that both decisions are good ones? Dono.

on a different note, I'm reading this book called "discover the power in the prayers of Paul" and this was in there for yesterday:

Father, In Jesus' name I give thanks that You are the God of hope and that by drawing near to You and coming to know You better each day, You are causing overflowing hope to grow in my heart so that I might experience the depths of Your peace and the height of Your joy, even as I learn to trust You more fully every day, by the power of the Holy Spirit. Thank you, Lord, that the more I learn to trust in You, the more the Holy Spirit, by His power, opens the floodgates of Your hope into my life. I receive Your anointing of hope right now. Amen

I just thought that was really cool to read especially when in such a lost place in life. So that is not only my prayer for myself, but for everyone of my friends in the same place!

All Those Days Are Gone by JLC

All those days are gone
So she falls asleep every night just before dawn
And closes her eyes as the sun starts to rise
'Cause all those days are gone

Sometimes she pretends
The sun it has finally begun to come to an end
Luminous nights of lonely streetlights
Sometimes she likes to pretend

She said that everybody wants to be here
Here where there's no one else around

Pull down all the shades
And try to forget how all of the memories fade
Memories that bled A curtain bright red
Time to pull down the shades

She said that everybody wants to be here
Here where there's no one else around
All those days are gone

As far as the stars are away from the midday sun
Memories so bright In a spinning twilight
But all those days are gone

She said everybody wants to be here
Here where there's no one else around
I'll trade the moon for the sun but this feeling for no one
She said that everybody wants to be here

All those days are gone
As far as the stars are away from the midday sun

Thoughts

Whoever said "it is better to have loved and lost than never love at all" that person was right!

Also, pray hard from 12:15-1:30. Test of doom! Symmertry of Differential Equations! Mark and I are gonna rock out though bc we spent 5 hours studying in the library yesterday! Ok, cya

"black horse and a cherry tree" kt tunstall

Two, three, four

(woo-hoo,woo-hoo)
(woo-hoo,woo-hoo)

Well my heart knows me better than I know myself
So I'm gonna let it do all the talking.
(woo-hoo,woo-hoo)
I came across a place in the middle of nowhere
With a big black horse and a cherry tree.
(woo-hoo,woo-hoo)

I fell in fear, upon my back
I said don't look back, just keep on walking.
(woo-hoo,woo-hoo)
When the big black horse that looked this way,
Said hey lady, will you marry me?
(woo-hoo,woo-hoo)

But I said no, no, no,no-no-no
I said no, no, you're not the one for me
No, no, no,no-no-no
I said no, no, you're not the one for me

(ooooo,woo-hoo)

And my heart had a problem, in the early hours,
So it stopped it dead for a beat or two.
(woo-hoo,woo-hoo)
But I cut some cord, and I shouldn't have done that,
And it won't forgive me after all these years
(woo-hoo,woo-hoo)

So I sent her to a place in the middle of nowhere
With a big black horse and a cherry tree.
(woo-hoo,woo-hoo)
Now it won't come back , cause it's oh so happy
And now I've got a hole for the world to see
(woo-hoo,woo-hoo)

But it said no, no, no,no-no-no
I said no, no, you're not the one for me
No, no, no,no-no-no
Said no, no, you're not the one for me

(ooooo,woo-hoo) (not the one for me, yeah)
(ooooo,woo-hoo)
Said no,no, no,no, no, no, no
You're not the one for me
Said no,no, no,no, no, no, no
You're not the one for me

Big black horse and a cherry tree
I can't quite get there cause they've all forsaken me
Big black horse and a cherry tree
I can't quite get there cause they've all forsaken me

On My Own

No, this is not a lyrical post for the great song from Les Mis... Currently, I've been having panic about the future, graduation and life on the other side of college. It has been flying past, and at this rate, I'll be 50 before I get the chance to blink! Been fighting the thought that everything will change on May 7, 2006. Being thrown into life. Life that isn't known... so I revert to the poem I wrote on the airplane ride back from visiting Calvin after I left... "unsteadily, unconfidently I tread this common ground" but eventually, as the poem says, it will all change and "steadily, confidently I tread this common ground" One day, even the future will be known and familiar.

Spring break is coming. Do I go unconfidently ahead to spain? Or do I try to spend the last spring break of my life with my friends from here? Decisions are hard. Life is becoming a series of decisions....

On a lighter note, the past 2 weekends have been absolutely amazing. 2 weekends ago was CONVERGE. It was the single greatest retreat I have gone to while in college. It brought focus back to the Lord and drew me out of the pit of quicksand I had so easily leaped into (the pit of my own desires and plans). Then this weekend I saw two movies: Annapolis (though it was wonderful, it was so inaccurate! haha) and End of the Spear. If you could go see any movie... go see that one! It's the story of Jim Elliot and his trying to reach this people group in central america I believe. It goes on to depict the effect his dying had on that people group as well as his own family. Truly moving... if you dont believe me... ask the citadel boys with us who were "not crying, but fixing their contacts" riiiiiiight!

Also, life has been going really well lately. My 22nd birthday was great fun. Wednesday, Linds, Leigh-Ann and I went to Wild Wings and that was great! Then on my bday, Leigh-Ann, Jennifer, Nan, Rach and I went to California Dreamin'. Though I didnt get drunk as most do on their bday, it was really great. All I wanted was to spend some quality time with the people that I really love, and that was what we did!

Other than bday fun, the main part is that I've been learning so much from the Word. Been delving into it and coming out with meat! Learning about being "constantly in prayer" and you know what... thats darn hard! It's cool to be sitting there or something and be like "oh yeah... constant prayer" and just take a second to pray... this is not something that can be done with pride. So along with it, must be the... YOU ARE GOD and I AM NOT mantra!!!! To be honest, its a really moving mantra!!!

This post of because of Jennifer Bussey. She love this song and this band. Somehow, her love has rubbed off. They say your friends influence you, and it's true! But luckily, she's a great influence. This is the first song by Jump Little Children that Bussey played for me last semester, and it needs to be passed on. It's called Mexico:

I won't let you go. I won't let you go
Not to Detroit City. Not to Chicago.

And I won't let you go. I won't let you go
Not to Mississippi. Not to Tupelo.

But if you're gonna leave
I'm asking you to please
Go all the way to Mexico.

I won't let you leave. I won't let you leave
Not with all my Django, Emmy Lou and Steve.

I won't let you leave. I won't let you leave
Not with my revival tucked down in the sleeve.

But if you're going to go
Take the ones you gave to me
All the way to Mexico.

All the way to the shore of California Bay and I'll be fine
'Cause I have taken you back for the last time.

And I won't set you free. I won't set you free
Not to say it's over. Come right back to me.

But if you're gonna go
I'm giving you the key
But only if you'll go to Mexico.

All the way to the shore of California Bay and I'll be fine
'Cause I have taken you back for the last time.

All the way to the shore of California Bay and I'll be fine
'Cause I have taken you back for the last time.

So if you're gonna go baby won't you please go all the way to Mexico
All the way to Mexico

Bebo Norman "borrow mine"

Take my hand and walk with me a while

Cause it seems your smile has left you
And don't give in, when you fall apart
And your broken heart has failed you
I'll set a light up on a hilltop
To show you my love for this world to see

You can borrow mine when your hope is gone
Borrow mine when you can't go on
'Cause the world will not defeat you
When we're side by side
When your faith is hard to find
You can borrow mine

Take my love when all that you can see
Is the raging sea all around us
And don't give up 'cause I'm not letting go
And the God we know will not fail us
We'll lay it all down as we call out
Sweet Savior help our unbelief

You can borrow mine when your hope is gone
Borrow mine when you can't go on
'Cause the world will not defeat you
When we're side by side
When your faith is hard to find
You can borrow mine

When you are weak
Unable to speak
You are not alone
The God who has saved us
Will never forsake us
he's coming to take us
Take us to our home

You can borrow mine when your hope is gone
Borrow mine when you can't go on
'Cause the world will not defeat you
When we're side by side
When your faith is hard to find
When your faith is hard to find
You can borrow mine

Take my hand
Take my love
Don't give in
Don't give up

June and Johnny Cash "Time's a wastin" lyrics

Johnny: Now I’ve got arms
June: And I’ve got arms
Together: Let’s get together and use those arms
June: Let’s go
Together: Time’s a wastin’

Johnny: I’ve got lips
June: And I’ve got lips
Together: Let’s get together and use those lips
June: Let’s go
Together: Time’s a wastin’

June: A cake’s no good if you don’t mix the batter and bake it
Johnny: And love’s just a bubble if you don’t take the trouble to make it
Together: So if you’re free to go with me
Together: I’ll take you quicker than 1-2-3
June: Let’s go
Johnny: Time’s a wastin’

(Instrumental Break)

Johnny: Now I’ve got blues
June: And I’ve got blues
Together: Let’s get acquainted and lose those blues
June: Let’s go
Together: Time’s a wastin’

Johnny: Now I’ve got feet
June: And I’ve got feet
Together: Let’s start to walk with a lover’s beat
June: Let’s go
Together: Time’s a wastin’

June: You’ve got me feelin love like I never have felt it
Johnny: You’re full of sugar and I’m think I’m the burner to melt it

Johnny: Now I’ve got schemes
June: And I’ve got schemes
Together: Let’s get together and dream some dreams
June: Let’s go
Together: Time’s a wastin’

Everytime by simple plan

It was three AM when you woke me up

And we jumped in the car and drove as far as we could go
Just to get away, We talked about our lives
Until the sun came up and now I'm thinking about
How I wish I could go back
Just for one more day, One more day with you

Everytime I see your face, Everytime you look my way
It's like it all falls into place and everything feels right
Ever since you walked away You left my life in disarray
All I want is one more day
All I need is one more day with you

When the car broke down, We just kept walkin along
Til we hit this town there was nothing there at all
But that was all okay
We spent all our money on stupid things
But if I looked back now, I'd probably give it all away
Just for one more day One more day with you

Everytime I see your face, Everytime you look my way
It's like it all falls into place and everything feels right
Ever since you walked away my life's been in disarray
All I want is one more day, All I need is one more day with you

Now I'm sittin here, like we used to do
I think about my life and how now there's nothing I won't do
Just for one more day One more day with you

Everytime I see your face, Everytime you look my way
It's like it all falls into place
Everything feels right (Everything feels right)
Everytime I hear your name, Everytime I feel the same
It's like it all falls into place, Everything feels right

You walked away just one more day
It's all I need, just one more day with you

"beer in mexico" kenny chesney

Starin' out into the wild blue yonder, So many thoughts to sit and ponder
'Bout life and love and lack of and this emptiness in my heart

Too old to be wild and free still too young to be over the hill
Should I try to grow up but who knows where to start

So I just ... Sit right here and have another beer in Mexico
Do my best to waste another day
Sit right here and have another beer in Mexico
Let the warm air melt these blues away

Sun comes up and sun sinks down and I seen 'em both in this tourist town
Up for days in a rage just tryin' to search my soul

From the answers and the reasons why I'm at these crossroads in my life
And I really don't know which way to go

So I just ... Sit right here and have another beer in Mexico
Do my best to waste another day
Sit right here and have another beer in Mexico
Let the warm air melt these blues away

Maybe I'll settle down, get married or stay single and stay free
Which road I travel is still a mystery to me

So I'll just ... Sit right here, have another beer in Mexico
Do my best to waste another day
Sit right here and have another beer in Mexico
Let the warm air melt these blues away

Down in Mexico ...

too much trouble!!!!! ack :(

Sex and the City Quotes..

Carrie: Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous

Carrie: Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate. Without them, what would shape our lives? Perhaps if we never veered off course, we wouldn't fall in love, or have babies, or be who we are. After all, seasons change. So do cities. People come into your life and people go. But it's comforting to know the ones you love are always in your heart. And if you're very lucky, a plane ride away.

Carrie: I'm looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can't-live-without-each-other love. And I don't think that love is here in this expensive suite in this lovely hotel in Paris.

Carrie: I admit it's tempting to wish for the perfect boss, the perfect parent, or the perfect outfit. But maybe the best any of us can do is not quit, play the hand we've been dealt, and accessorize what we've got.

Carrie: It would be childish of us to deny that our lives weren't changing. But for this night, none of us were going anywhere. That's the thing about really good friends and a really great Manhattan.

Ponder

Hey,
so long discussions with Kate rock! Also, Amiga, I really wana come to Greece, so count me in! No changing, no qualms, no discussion... Let's do it! So, she's come to the conclusion that I'm terrified to let myself feel strongly! Maybe she's right. But why would that be? I think about him and get all butterflies in my stomach and at the same time he can make me so amazingly angry. But if it's true that I am scared, how do you get over that? How do you free yourself to just let go... And fall? Falling can potentially hurt, and I don't know if after the year my family has had if my heart is strong enough for that possibility. People are pairing off, but does that mean that I'm ready? Yes and no. Ready and terrified, is that something that goes together? I dono. [Also, as an aside (Kate, sorry for backing into your jeep! Why does that only happen when with you!?!?!?) haha thanks for being cool about it, and amazingly nothing showed on either of our cars. Yeah for the bumpers actually working! ] Ok, back to the real discussion. I'm of the opinion that no one reads this, which is fine, it means I can write and vent honestly. But if someone does happen to read this and has any advice on this subject... I would greatly appreciate it. Can't things just go simply at their own pace? Why must people always hint at the future, a future that I'm trying my hardest to avoid. Graduation and life and adulthood and all that ensues from that shakes me to the very core. So maybe essentially that is the problem. Maybe I'm not scared of him and what could potentially be there, but of the future... He seems ready for it and anticipating it, and me, well I'm pretending that it's not less than 4 months away! Ok there ya go. I psycho-analyzed myself.

Rascal Flatts

So, kate and I were listening to Rascal Flatts in the car tonight while looking at Christmas lights. So I went do download some, and came across this song and its beautiful...

"Head Over Heels"

Sitting here with you, you ask me why my tongus is tied
I've tried to make some since of all these things I feel inside
I've been searching for the perfect words to say
They've been said a thousand times but they mean more today

'Cause i'm head over heels for you and all of the things you do
The heavens & earth have moved I'm falling head over heels for you

So baby there it is I've let it go and now you know
It's funny how a feeling starts so small and starts to grow
I had every line rehearsed I'd say to you today
then you looked into my eyes and they just slipped away

'Cause i'm head over heels for you and all of the things you do
The heavens & earth have moved I'm falling, head over heels for you

Head over heels heart over mind, you've got me body and soul
I've never dreamed in a million years I'd lose complete control

I'm head over heels for you and all of the things you do
The heavens & earth have moved I'm falling head over heels for you
Head over heels for you, I'm falling head over heels for you
oooo ohh I'm falling mmmm I'm falling

Ok, so i've mentioned aaron a few times, and there he is. yup. ok, enough! haha

Christmas Eve

Ok, so great service tonight. Good to see old friends and get to have the Christmas eve service in a new way! Also, I'm cold. brrr. going to bed.

Thoughts of the day...

So today I was supposed to meet Aaron in VA... but things at home have been bad, so I didn't go. But maybe that was a blessing in disquise because Gumpy fell and I ended up spending the day in the ER with him. He is okay thankfully, and nothing is broken or bruised and there was no reason for his fall other than him being 91 and just falling. So yeah for him being okay. Also, my being there seemed to have helped things with my parentals. They seemed much less angry today, and even seemed okay! It was weird. Maybe thats how family is. They are the ones that you love and know will always be there, so you can just let your emotions go... Oh well. Also, while in the ER this man went running through and basically knocked me over, and then the hospital guards took after him. Apparently somehow he was a bad guy, so that's kinda strange.

On another note, I am starting to like The Postal Service and I blame Aaron for that! Ack. Also, I miss him a bit! haha phone calls are good, but just dont do the trick! ok, well enough about that.

Another note, it has been good seeing my friends from home. Katie and Katie and Jen and Kate... You guys are amazing! Manda, hopefully I'll see you soon! I even got to take Laura and her lil precious Mekinze to the mall to sit on santa's lap!!! AWWWWWW

Christmas Vacation 2005...

So here is what I have been doing.

1. Not going to classes.
   
2. Not doing homework
3. Not spending time in Addlestone!
4. Hanging out with my puppies
5. 5. Seeing some old friends!
   

All of these things have been wonderful! And I have enjoyed every moment

6. fighting with my mom... it's like i'm back in highschool and we're relating like we did then, which basically meant we fought. It really sucks. It's based on my attitude and that's true, but I am having a really hard time getting past it. Doesn't that sound horrible and conceited? Well it is! I think it stems from the fact that she is making it a huge deal that it's her first holiday season without my Nana. True it is, but it's also the family's first holiday time without Nana. Does she not get that? Yes, it's her mom that passed away, but you know what... Nana was a part of this family and her death has impacted everyone, not just my mom. That sounds even more horrible I know. But, it's how I feel. We're all supposed to make mom feel better, well you know what, I dont wana! Wow, that sounded like a 5 year old. I guess the point is that this is hard and strange for everyone, not just mom. And it's as if every moment is supposed to be about mom, and so instead of doing that, I have been well... not. So, if anyone has any suggestions as how to fix this... bc I cant tell her! No no that would make it 10 times worse, I would appreciate all input! thanks