Well... Being back at classes is good. Don't actually enjoy living so far from everyone and everything. I feel incredibly disconnected. Whatever. Augie said the greatest thing that perfectly describes everything right now: "that damned reality." It's like everything has gotten itself off track and I have absolutely no clue how to get it back. I want to be with my friends, but I can't connect. I want to just laugh and have fun, but its hard. And that is a very bad sign. I dont feel depressed, but whatever. It's like I feel shafted by life recently. Ever felt life-shafted? Its a sureal feeling. There's many things about Charleston life that I would change. Mainly, I bet that my old roommate Kelli is really fun outside of our living situation. I would go back to that time over Christmas when we actually got along, well! But she got it right in her away message:
"When you are sad, I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the scum-sucking bastard who made you sad. When you are scared, I will laugh at you and tease you about it every chance I get. When you are worried, I will tell you how much worse it could be and to quit complaining. When you are confused, I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass. And when you are lost, I will answer my cell phone and give you directions. When you are sick, I will hold your hair while you pay homage to the porcelain god. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass. This is my oath...I pledge till the end. Why you may ask? Because ya'll are my Best friends"... though this is not completely accurate, It is funny, and is how I think a lot of the time.
Maybe the problem is that I'm changing. Or changing from them. They say you wont be friends with all your college friends when you leave... and as far as I can count, I count 1 who will go the distance. One who will be there sitting and having a glass of wine when we are 50 talking about how our kids have left the houses! The first friend I met here! I love you! Ok enough rambling. Time to spend my time on something else
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