On My Own

No, this is not a lyrical post for the great song from Les Mis... Currently, I've been having panic about the future, graduation and life on the other side of college. It has been flying past, and at this rate, I'll be 50 before I get the chance to blink! Been fighting the thought that everything will change on May 7, 2006. Being thrown into life. Life that isn't known... so I revert to the poem I wrote on the airplane ride back from visiting Calvin after I left... "unsteadily, unconfidently I tread this common ground" but eventually, as the poem says, it will all change and "steadily, confidently I tread this common ground" One day, even the future will be known and familiar.

Spring break is coming. Do I go unconfidently ahead to spain? Or do I try to spend the last spring break of my life with my friends from here? Decisions are hard. Life is becoming a series of decisions....

On a lighter note, the past 2 weekends have been absolutely amazing. 2 weekends ago was CONVERGE. It was the single greatest retreat I have gone to while in college. It brought focus back to the Lord and drew me out of the pit of quicksand I had so easily leaped into (the pit of my own desires and plans). Then this weekend I saw two movies: Annapolis (though it was wonderful, it was so inaccurate! haha) and End of the Spear. If you could go see any movie... go see that one! It's the story of Jim Elliot and his trying to reach this people group in central america I believe. It goes on to depict the effect his dying had on that people group as well as his own family. Truly moving... if you dont believe me... ask the citadel boys with us who were "not crying, but fixing their contacts" riiiiiiight!

Also, life has been going really well lately. My 22nd birthday was great fun. Wednesday, Linds, Leigh-Ann and I went to Wild Wings and that was great! Then on my bday, Leigh-Ann, Jennifer, Nan, Rach and I went to California Dreamin'. Though I didnt get drunk as most do on their bday, it was really great. All I wanted was to spend some quality time with the people that I really love, and that was what we did!

Other than bday fun, the main part is that I've been learning so much from the Word. Been delving into it and coming out with meat! Learning about being "constantly in prayer" and you know what... thats darn hard! It's cool to be sitting there or something and be like "oh yeah... constant prayer" and just take a second to pray... this is not something that can be done with pride. So along with it, must be the... YOU ARE GOD and I AM NOT mantra!!!! To be honest, its a really moving mantra!!!