So it's that time of year...
... everything feels like it's shaking. Like each decision could potentially sink me. Opportunities that would excite others paralyze me. Where does that come from? Why do I want to leap? Why do I always want to leap right up until that very moment where I must actually leap? Then the leap becomes overwhelming, paralyzing, and completely undoes me.
Not everyone understands this. To be honest, I wish I didn't. But I do. As Mark Twain wrote: "20 years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw of the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." But what if I want that and yet... can't.
These empowering quotes, the joy I feel when first deciding to go is shattered by the reality. The inability to move. The weight of making a wrong choice. Of changing okay for something different. Of leaving home and my family. Of trying to do something new - regardless how much I originally wanted it.
Seriously? What is this? This pit in my stomach that becomes a churning. I truly hope no one else feels this way.
Despite all of those emotions - of one I am sure. I am so deeply grateful and thankful for my family who has been there through it all - time and time again. For listening and encouraging and then who sit there when I can't move and tell me it's okay For friends who stand by me despite these moments. Thank you all.
... everything feels like it's shaking. Like each decision could potentially sink me. Opportunities that would excite others paralyze me. Where does that come from? Why do I want to leap? Why do I always want to leap right up until that very moment where I must actually leap? Then the leap becomes overwhelming, paralyzing, and completely undoes me.
Not everyone understands this. To be honest, I wish I didn't. But I do. As Mark Twain wrote: "20 years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw of the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." But what if I want that and yet... can't.
These empowering quotes, the joy I feel when first deciding to go is shattered by the reality. The inability to move. The weight of making a wrong choice. Of changing okay for something different. Of leaving home and my family. Of trying to do something new - regardless how much I originally wanted it.
Seriously? What is this? This pit in my stomach that becomes a churning. I truly hope no one else feels this way.
Despite all of those emotions - of one I am sure. I am so deeply grateful and thankful for my family who has been there through it all - time and time again. For listening and encouraging and then who sit there when I can't move and tell me it's okay For friends who stand by me despite these moments. Thank you all.
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