questions

I had this revelation today. I hate being the 'friend'. I love friends but not when I want more. Throughout highschool, I was the friend. Brice and I have gone through this over and over and ended up friends. And that ended up being a great thing. Then I got Keith, a great guy! He was amazing and everything I coulda asked for, and I gave him up for someone I wanted and was around all the time earlier this year but again, ended up being only friends with. My question is why does this happen? Do I give off that vibe? Arg! I have some of the best guy friends in the world. Maybe, current situations have made me think of this. I am usually surprisingly cool with it in the moment, and can move on quickly. But when everyone around you is getting paired off, it sucks to see them all so happy. God has a plan. True. I believe that. But patience has never ever been one of my virtues and if He is trying to teach it to me... boo! It's a good thing to learn, but I dont want it right now! haha OK enough of that kind of talk haha. night