Stupidity

Great title huh? Do you ever feel that you are more of a jerk than not? More of someone that uses people than not? More of a person who is selfish than not? More of a person who does what they want instead of what they should? I have been feeling that way a lot lately. This year I have become complacent. Not just with school but with everything; numb in a sense. Which seems worse than feeling a great amount of pain or anger or happiness. Numbness. Whoa. Have I become judgemental of everyone and everything around? Man, if that one is true, then that sucks and needs to be changed immediately. Just want to hide from it all. Can that be done? I want to go home but dont want to be there either because there is too much saddness there surrounding Nana. Direction and ambition and direction and caring have all left. Got Fired from work today. Well, I went in to quit, but it still sucks just the same. Don't want to be this person anymore. Sorry this is so un-uplifting. Just the mood of the moment. Sitting here, even now doing what should not be done. Typing on this stupid thing instead of studying. I want to be that person I once was. Where did that person go? Is it still inside? And if yes, why is it hiding. Ok, enough introspectiveness. Enough! Time to work and focus and study and find a job and find myself again.