Contemplation.

So, the plan was to stay in SC for the summer. But why? It was to work. I have an amazing job where pay is around min of 50 in a shift, but it's more like 100 a shift, which is sweet. Here's the dilemma: Feel like I have no real friend here. They seem to just blow and shift with the wind. The only one who I can see being friends with for the long haul is Karen and possibly Nan. Man, I love everyone so much, but screw it up. I feel like they are all fair-weather friends. I miss my home friends; ie the ones who I know will always be there, always. Katie and I discussed our friendship one day last summer and decided... Its just too hard to break in a great/amazing old friend who will stand by you always, no matter what! Katie, I love you amiga. So here's the decision: I want to tell work I need to go home to help my nana, which is true, but I just want to be where things are real. It's like all the sudden, everyone changed and its not just them, but me too. There's so much family crap, and I cant explain it all to them, and honestly, they don't really care. The family stuff, I just want/need to be there, and it affects me everyday, whether I let on about it or not. Ok, I'm done, finished. Been in this weird mood lately where it seems as if everyone is angry or something. Honestly, maybe something is wrong with me. Maybe I piss people off to see who will actually stick around, who want it to last. Maybe not. I dono why I end up making everyone mad, but it happens. Argh. I'm done.
Things I want to do this summer:

1. Hang out at the beach more with Linds
2. See my Nanners more!
3. Figure out what happened between LA and I, and fix it, no matter what it takes
4. Spend the afternoons on a boat...
5. Lounge with a book and Katie at her pool
6. Cantlers... Need I say more?
7. Chill downtown Annapolis
8. Be with my Nana
9. Feel less like crap at all times
10. Return to the purpose of Life... Refocus my life back to Christ. Maybe that is what is causing all this turmoil!