"Keep Singing" Mercy Me

So I know that I post a ton of music lyrics, but they are what really ring true to me at any given moment. I can relate to them and feel everything through them. This song is off the UNDONE cd by Mercy Me. Something about this song... it can be left on repeat and touch some cord deep inside... so here it is:

Another rainy day
I can't recall having sunshine on my face
All I feel is pain
All I wanna do is walk out of this place
But when I am stuck and I can't move
When I don't know what I should do
When I wonder if I'll ever make it through

I gotta keep singing
I gotta keep praising Your name
Your the one that's keeping my heart beating
I gotta keep singing
I gotta keep praising Your name
That's the only way that I'll find healing

Can I climb up in Your lap
I don't wanna leave
Jesus sing over me
I gotta keep singing

Can I climb up in Your lap
I don't wanna leave
Jesus sing over me
I gotta keep singing

Oh You're everything I need
And I gotta keep singing

Break woes!

hey all,
so yeah, its great to be on break. but I'm finding that i'm missing my friends and my boyfriend. Yeah so thats the scoop. ok. bye

Thanksgiving.

Flew Home to Maryland today. It was crazy early, but luckily nan got outta bed before the sun to take me to the airport. Slept on the plane, grabbed the flyer and then the metro. On the metro I met a girl who's a senior math major in Vermont and we are both taking abstract algrebra, so we randomly talked about groups and stuff on the metro. hahaha weird. Home is good, a lil cold but good! My dogs are wonderful. Danced w/drew and he put his head on my shoulder and closed his eyes! See, even my puppy knows what to do w/slow songs! haha Had coffee with Kate and then we walked around! Then had charthouse w/mom! Tomorrow afternoon I take the parents to the metro so they can catch the amtrak upto NYC! Good for them! Dad finally taught me how to use the fireplace... he had to teach me because its not real, its gas! But it sure is pretty!!! Also tomorrow I think I'm gonna chill in Kate's hottub... haha only I forgot my bathing suit, which she even reminded me to bring. Oops.

It's really weird. It's like this is home, but each time I come back there are less and less people here that I really want to be around and who I really know. There are old friends from high school, but really, I dont actually hang out with them. Kate, sometimes Katie, Katie Kern, Jen, Brittany and an occasional few others, and of course chase. It's as if life has finally moved on and Charleston is home. It is home, but also it's like home home. All the people my life revolves around, besides family, are there and life isnt the same when they aren't nearby! I love you guys! Ok, well, besides that, I am excited about driving the Z3 all week! haha, and my Josephine too, though she's running poorly and needs to be stretched! Well, hopefully after some extra driving (gotta get her some more gas first) she will get better! She's just running like she hasnt been driven enough and is sad about that. Also, is it weird that I personify my car? Only that car too, bc the 2003 civic is just my car, not my baby! Ok, well, Night world!

Heather Nova Song...

"Like Lovers Do"

There is a paradise that can be found
A better life to bring us round
And all we really need to do
Is see the world like lovers do

I want to take it easy, take it slow
To catch a fire and let it go
I wanna give myself to you
So we can live like lovers do

Like lovers do
I wanna feel that way
Yeah like lovers do
They loose themselves for days
And I need to feel, I need to feel that way

I can hear you thinking what I feel
I know that what we've got is real
And all we need to get us through
Is just to live like lovers do

Just like lovers do
I wanna feel that way
Yeah like lovers do
They loose themselves for days
Yeah I need to feel, I need to feel that way
Like lovers do
Give me the strength
To give myself to you
Like lovers lovers do

Yeah all we really need to do
Is see the world like lovers do
Like lovers do
I wanna feel that way
Yeah like lovers do
They loose themselves for days
Lovers do
I wanna feel that way
Like lovers do
They loose themselves for days
Yeah I need to feel, I need to feel that way

Like lovers do

Is school over yet? I'm tired of it. I'm tired of studying for hours and getting no where! It's horrible!

Here By Me... lyrics from 3 Doors Down

I hope you’re doing fine out without me
‘Cause I’m not doing so good without you
The things I thought you’d never know about me
Were the things I guess you always understood

So how could I have been so blind for all these years?
Guess I only see the truth through all this fear,
And living without you…

And everything I had in this world
And all that I’ll ever be
It could all fall down around me.
Just as long as I have you,
Right here by me.

I can’t take another day without you
‘Cause baby, I could never make it on my own
I’ve been waiting so long, just to hold you
And be back in your arms where I belong

Sorry I can’t always find the words to say
But everything I’ve ever know gets swept away
Inside of your love…

And everything I had in this world
And all that I’ll ever be
It could all fall down around me.
Just as long as I have you,
Right here by me.

As the days grow long I see
That time is standing still for me
When you’re not here

Sorry I can’t always find the words to say
Everything I’ve ever known gets swept away
Inside of your love

And everything I had in this world
And all that I’ll ever be
It could all fall down around me.
Just as long as I have you,
Right here by me.

And everything I had in this world
And all that I’ll ever be
It could all fall down around me.
Just as long as I have you,
Right here by me.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to my Nana... crap. I cant do this. Today sucks. I dono how it can be made better. I've been trying to be strong for mom, bc it has to suck more for her but its aweful! I miss her and think about her all the time. And no, I dont wana talk about it, and I just wanted to go iceskating and have fun w/no stress. But no, not even that could be possible. So screw it. Maybe I am crazy, You all think it anyway. Some of you write on my facebook wall about how good of friends we are? But isnt that crap? I mean, isnt it fake? You only want to be friends when its convienent. You basically said you're gonna drop me and forget everything once we graduate and you go away. So why even invest my time in that? You were one of my favorites, but I cant handle that. It's not how I operate. Today wasnt even supposed to be about that. It was supposed to be fun, to take my mind from everything that hurts too much to be real today. But whatever, why go have fun when it's just easier not to? So, for now I'm done. Bye

unconfused. finally

katie...

talking to Katie Leek always Helps! she's so excited and decisive and well... awesome. I love having someone who knows you so well and yet always wants to have a good time! Thanks katie. No one has been able to be so helpful about this as you have!

Choices

Had a lot on the brain. Real stuff... not stuff like "what do I want for dinner". How do you decide something important? So here is the list that I have come up with:

Qualities That are Truly Important In a Relationship

1. Believer in the Truth!
2. Someone I can be myself around
3. A Gentleman- someone who opens the car door to let you in, offers his coat and knows how to treat a woman
4. Loves his family
5. Can just go out and have fun
6. Someone that can be real. Tell mew hen I'm being a pain and yet also be secure enough that I can tell him when he's a pain
7. Attraction- the desire to want to be with you & when with you... to be near you
8. Trust
9. Confident, yet not overly prideful
10. Someone who not only wants me, but wants me to search out Christ more & more

Ok, so that is the tenative list. Things that have been heavy on the brain. Consuming my thoughts.

Ponderings

Yes, when I Ponder, its usually not a good thing. But its 1030 on a Sat, and I just got home. Babysat and all my friends are already out. So here I am, talking to Chase and Aaron and drinking a Mikes... Therefore Pondering MUST occur, it is not optional. Judy asked me tonight if I've ever felt that I've been in love. I dono how to answer that. Yes and No. I've been mentally attracted to some and physically attracted to others. I've really wanted to be in the presence of some and honestly, when I really really like someone, I get so confused that everything just gets turned upside down. It's times like these when I wish Nana was alive to just talk and share her stories about dating tons of guys when she was dating my Gumpy and how she was proposed to like 8 times (one was the same time my Gump proposed. Crazy huh? Yeah. She was a playa back in the day! Weird to think of grandparents as playas... but i've come across some pretty darn interesting stuff from when she was my age! hahahaha GO NANA! Ok I give up. I'm done writing for now. going back to the reality that is real now

Untitled

For the longest time, it was my who wanted you. Then I started to move on, and you came back around. I started down that path once more, and yet again, you were the confused one. We danced in circles, around and around and around. Finally, you changed your mind and wanted me too. It was amazing. Together at last. Then it happened. It was like you wanted to be so serious, or you were so there that it scared me. Haha its like I'm the guy, the one who was scared off by it all. I dont have a clue how that happened, or why. But then we started arguing and that sucked. Because all I wanted to do was talk to you, but was scared that somehow it would lead you on more, which frightened me again. I get more mad at you than anyone I know. It's so weird. You make me so mad, then say the sweetest things that just make me smile all day, and want to tell my friends! Yet I want to be around you too! gesh. So that is my confusion! Confused about how that is possible and whether or not I'm ready for you! You and I decided that we compete and maybe we were doing that to make the other want to come back to get together. And the other day you said that when I'm nervous I just talk... for example on the beach... and no one knows that about me! They know I pace and stuff, but not that, so for you to have just picked that up, was crazy! Man, real life is hard huh? Sorry! So, we try to talk and say these things, but I suck at it, it has always gone better to write what I'm thinking down. So, its not confusion about whether or not I like you, but whether I'm ready for that... ready for you I guess. Ok. thats all the insights into my head you get today! Hopefully its enough

Working My Life Away...hey hey hey

Hey,
so today has been crazy. Woke up, went to basketball! Which, ps, is the best class ever. Then, came home, quick shower... then off to meet Jen. We finished our project, delivered it and it was...whoops.. 1.5 min too short. Oh well. Then I went to the library to type up our analysis. After that, July and I went to Stern before going to LaFortunes Differential Wave Analysis lecture, which I actually understood about nonlinear equations and needing two parts for PDE's (partial differential equations) in order to determine wave (up and down) and twist of a rope. Neato! I really am a math nerd! then class, then here in the math lab. Which, thank God... is empty. Then bcm, but I'm not gonna go. So i'm gonna go home and finish up my math 311 Homework. Then we're apparently gonna go out to Kickin Chicken or something. Ok, until next time