19 December 2005

Christmas Vacation 2005...

So here is what I have been doing.
  1. Not going to classes.
  2. Not doing homework
  3. Not spending time in Addlestone!
  4. Hanging out with my puppies
  5. 5. Seeing some old friends!
All of these things have been wonderful! And I have enjoyed every moment
6. fighting with my mom... it's like i'm back in highschool and we're relating like we did then, which basically meant we fought. It really sucks. It's based on my attitude and that's true, but I am having a really hard time getting past it. Doesn't that sound horrible and conceited? Well it is! I think it stems from the fact that she is making it a huge deal that it's her first holiday season without my Nana. True it is, but it's also the family's first holiday time without Nana. Does she not get that? Yes, it's her mom that passed away, but you know what... Nana was a part of this family and her death has impacted everyone, not just my mom. That sounds even more horrible I know. But, it's how I feel. We're all supposed to make mom feel better, well you know what, I dont wana! Wow, that sounded like a 5 year old. I guess the point is that this is hard and strange for everyone, not just mom. And it's as if every moment is supposed to be about mom, and so instead of doing that, I have been well... not. So, if anyone has any suggestions as how to fix this... bc I cant tell her! No no that would make it 10 times worse, I would appreciate all input! thanks

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