Wednesday January 21, 2004
Sorry for kinda venting in the last one. I'm much calmer now. Played a little bball, had some alone time. Can I say how much that alone time is meaning to me lately? It's like being quiet and alone is better than being with anyone. I relish that time! Is that weird? Is it reclusive? I dono or care! Anyway, just put on my retainer for the first time in a while, and as per usual the bottom doesnt fit, and the top, OUCH OUCH OUCH! But hows the saying go "no pain no gain" I read this girl I used to know's web journal and she's got this great song on it, and since I'm all about the lyrics, here it goes, hope you get as much meaning from the lyrics as I do:

IF YOU WANT ME TO By: Ginny Owens
The pathway is broken and the signs are unclear
And I don’t know the reason why you brought me here
But just because you love me the way that you do
I’m gonna walk through the valley
If you want me to

Cause I’m not who I was
When I took my first step
And I’m clinging to the promise
You’re not through with me yet
So if all of these trials
Bring me closer to you
Then I will go through fire if you want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
when you lead me through a world that’s not my home
but you never said it would be easy
you only said I’d never go alone
you oooh oh.

so when the whole world turns against me
and I’m all by myself
and I can’t hear you answer my cries for help
I’ll remember the sufferin’ your love put you through
And I will go through the valley
If you want me to.

That song brings a ton of comfort when I'm not feeling like myself at all. Dont really know what happened in the past week and a 1/2, but its like somewhere on the drive down I lost myself. It's missing and I feel incomplete somehow. I bought a basketball on Saturday and it's been my saving grace. Just going to the park and shooting around, getting all those thoughts to cleanse themselves! And Sunday the bball league starts... GO BCM TEAM GO! So excited. well, homework is calling... til next time.