FALLS APART...

These lyrics are by Sugar Ray. So kristin (if you read this... I hope you enjoy it). Today was a good day. Lots to do, but it was very much NOT focused on me, which is a great thing. Had class, babysat, studied, and then went outside with Leigh-Ann and then Lindsay and Nan came over, and we had out Wednesday night prayer. I really hope Lindsay decides to keep coming! Other than that, something just hasn't been right lately. Can't put a finger on it, but it's there just the same. It's like I've been pretending, or putting on a show w/my friends. Trying to be funny, and yeah it's so fun... but I can't be showy anymore. Somewhere in the past few weeks I lost myself and don't know where it went. When I'm with people, I can be that person, but when alone, I don't feel it anymore. So, I downloaded this song and it seems to sum up everything:

She falls apart by herself, No ones there to talk or understand

Feels sustained, dries here eyes

Finds herself, opens the door inside

People see right through you, Everyone who knew you well

Falls apart, might as well Day is long and nothing is wasteful

Runaway runaway runaway runaway...

All those words that hurt you, More than you would let it show

Comes apart, by yourself

All is well and everything is wasted

Runaway runaway runaway runaway

So that is basically it in a nutshell. It's only part of the song, but yeah, it's applicable. So here is the prayer: Daddy (name used by Nan that is awesome), I try to make my life my own, but it's yours. Take my mind and transform it, take my will and conform it to yours Lord. Everything should be for your glory. Father, this life is yours, you gave it to me and I give it back to you. Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Thank you father for breaking this pride that rises up so easily. If it will glorify you more, break me more Jesus. Break me to the point where I was last year where there was nothing but you! I raise my Ebenezer to you, because you are the Rock! Lord, it is not possible for me to break myself, so I am praying to you to break and humble me for your names sake. Thank you Lord.